You are pondering:
"Am I distancing myself from the experienced, when I put this into words:
The warm fragrance of the grass;
the smell of the damp earth;
the subtle wind playing with the fur on the dog's ears;
the sound of the wind in the branches with the newborn leaves;
the warmth of the sun through the black wool blanket around my legs;
the longing for my mother?"

You tell me, that just a few years ago, you and your mother sat here in the beach chairs. You don't recall what you talked about, if anything at all. perhaps you talked about the fir, that could be used for Christmas. Maybe she would have her drink at 5pm and a cigarette... Yes, that's for sure.

You get sad and ask:
"Where are my mother and father now?"

Know that they are, where they will be received - simply because they have taken care of children, parents, life and other jobs.

What are you taking care of?