You have heard that time is not something you have, but something you take.
However, you doubt the simplicity of this.
You have felt that you have had too little of it - time - but now feel its fullness and:
that everything you do teeters on the edge of time;
that thoughts of what else you could have done are gone;
that you can only do what you can;
that you cannot do more now.

Then you admonish yourself anyhow, that you're just sitting there, and how will you contribute to make the world better?

It's pointless to accuse yourself. Remember what you say to others: "The work begins with yourself."
I know you think this work gets complicated quickly.

You ask: "Am I on a detour or on the right path?"
You've read, seen and listened and even want to know: "Why does so much need to be learned?"

You distinguish between the learning and the creative source. Consider whether you are too controlling. Control is like a dice being thrown - it lands on one side. The dice is angular, has an edge and is man-made. The dice stops before a ball, which is round, just like your cells and the planets, and it rolls and rolls - the round, around.

There are no borders between the creative source and the outside: Learning, thoughts, desires, control and doubt, and you exclaim: "How can I forget all this over and over again?"
See, then you realize, that you are available and trust where life is taking you.

You must do your practice, seek communities and common understanding, and also contribute to the community. Then you are part of it, others are part of it, and the community is therefore a part of you. You become united inside. Nothing is separate, everything is already here.
Then time was here, now it is not, past, present, future: The same.

Now you don't know what time will bring and you're tired.

You can hear yourself.

You can let go.